Dumb Advice From Candy

Claim your happiness; dance to your own music.

Dr. Laura

me: I promise no knife fights. Just don't be a Dr. Laura loving Republican and we cool
Robert: Ok, my blackberry doesn't know enough curse words to describe Dr Laura. Seriously. It was auto completing with "ducking" and "butch"
me: That's the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me

Law Talk

Another old one.

A few years ago, I was chatting up a law student (who is now a lawyer) about free speech and the blogging world. I've always been under the impression that private blog hosting websites (such as blogger, LiveJournal, etc.) were not a public forum in the legal sense and therefore under no obligation to uphold free speech rights. However, I'm completely aware that this comes from the Court of Jessica and I can be entirely wrong.

Me: yeah - the realm of public forum gets weird
Me: with the internet. the internet complicates things!
Law Student Friend: yes
Law Student Friend: stupid internet!
Law Student Friend: i see a trend to treat the internet
Law Student Friend: as the real thing, though
Me: yeah. next time you're in court for an internet case
Me: I think you should plead, "But it's just the internet, LOL JUDGE GET A LIFE"
Law Student Friend: lolololol
Me: Best argument evar
Law Student Friend: "it's just the INTERNET, kthnx"
Law Student Friend: but all I'm saying is that it is a possibility that blog sites might have to uphold rights like free speech
Me: I will accept that
Me: UNTIL THE JUDGE GETS A LIFE
Law Student Friend: lololol
Law Student Friend: and gets off the internet to take care of his kids amirite
Law Student Friend: i'll be like "lol judge get off the bench"

Old, but came up recently

Me: so there's a sign up at Will's saying "donations excepted"
Me: so I was like "uh that's spelled wrong."
Me: and she's like "oh they just gave us this sign for the boy who was eaten by a bear 2 days ago." oops. I'm a jackass
Brooke: lol... you told them their sign was misspelled?!... that's awesome
Me: "Yeah I know this kid was EATEN BY A FREAKING BEAR but it should 'accepted' not 'excepted'"
Brooke: i didn't even know a boy was eaten by a bear
Me: I didn't either
Me: but they're excepting donations

My Good Deeds

Me: I'm going to go do society a favor and work out.
Amy: How does that help society?
Me: 1. I will relieve some anxiety and not kill anyone
2. Looking hotter is a favor to everyone who looks at me. You're welcome. ;)
Amy: That IS good for society
Me: I'm always thinking about other people
Amy: You're a giver
Me: I wonder if I can be sainted
Amy: I'd vouch for you on that. That is all it takes, right?
Me: You're a true friend. Okay. Time for my civil service. BBL.