Kirk is the best person alive for bringing me pepto, popsicles, jell-o, water and applesauce in my sick time of need.

Last night...

Me: (Looking outside at the snow) Wow, it's already 1 to 2 inches...
Friends: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

So awesome without context.

Me: I fight naked people all the time.

(FYI, the context was when talking about a game where buying clothes for your avatar meant you had less money for sweet killing power.)